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When parents live together, they share the enjoyment of and the responsibility for their [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] children. When parents separate, new arrangements are made for spending time with children, making decisions on their behalf, and fulfilling parental obligations. "The best interests of the children" is the guiding legal principle behind making these new arrangements.
The following are common questions facing separating parents:
1.How do we tell the children that we are separating?
2.What is custody?
3.What is access?
4.What is joint custody?
5.What is a parenting plan?
6.Who decides on parenting arrangements?
7.Do the children have a say?
How do we tell the children we are separating?
In many cases, physical separation occurs sometime after the relationship breaks down. While one or both parents have had time to come to terms with the separation, the children may not be prepared for this news. Experts agree that there are ways to help children adjust to the inevitable changes which will occur in their lives. A commonly recommended approach for parents is to tell the children together that you are separating. Children need reassurance that they are loved by both parents and, in the vast majority of cases, will have a meaningful relationship with each parent even if their parents are not living together. Reassure the children that the separation is not their fault. Do not involve the children in adult decisions. There are many books available to help you answer your children's questions in a way which will lead to a healthy transition. Often, parents can benefit from early guidance of a parenting expert who can help them plan a separation and parenting arrangements in a way that will reduce the negative effect on the children.
What is custody?
Custody is a legal term referring [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] to who has legal decision making authority over major issues in the life of a child including religious upbringing, education, health and extra curricular activities. "Sole custody" is the legal term used to describe an arrangement in which one parent has the legal right to make all the major decisions about how to raise the children. In a case of sole [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] custody, the children live most of the time with that parent and have "visitation" or access time with the "non-custodial parent". In some cases, one parent will have sole custody of [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] the children with [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] an obligation to seek the other parent's views in advance of making any major decisions. If there is a lack of consensus, the sole custodial parent has ultimate final say. Sole custody does not give the parent a right to determine unilaterally the amount of time spent with [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] the other parent.
Joint Custody
In a joint custody arrangement, parents share decision making authority. Joint custody can mean that the children share time equally between each parent but this is not necessarily the case. Parents living apart can share joint custody with the children living primarily in one parent's home.
Joint custody requires a level of constructive communication and co-operation. If the joint custodial parents are unable to agree on a major decision, in many cases they will retain a parenting expert to mediate and/or arbitrate the issue. Alternatively, they may use other dispute resolution mechanisms such as [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] a collaborative process, a traditional negotiation with a lawyer or court.
Access
Access is a legal term which refers to the amount of time a child spends with the "non custodial" parent. Access is also the right of the child to spend time with a non-custodial parent.
According to the law, an access parent also has the right to be given information about a child's health, education, and welfare. The custodial parent has an obligation to make sure the access parent has this type of information. This means the custodial parent must either provide records such as school reports, [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] school cards and doctors' reports [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] or alternatively the [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] custodial parent must sign a "Direction" allowing authorities such as the child's school, doctor and daycare providers to give information directly to the access parent upon his or her request.
Supervised access is rare but it is put in place if there are serious concerns about the ability of an access parent [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] to properly look after a child. The supervisor could be a trusted friend, relative, privately paid social worker, or staff at a supervised access centre. Supervised access would be appropriate, for example, [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] in a case of an access parent with a substance abuse problem.

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